Cameron Winery -- sustainably farmed, non-irrigated, Oregon pinot noir and chardonnay

CASUAL ENCOUNTER
You boarded the Max train by Pioneer Square last Thursday afternoon at three p.m. Silky, long brown hair, blues eyes, tri-tone beige eye shadow, medium light foundation, Frosted Berry Bon Bon lip gloss, I think you were wearing Clinique. You had on a teal cashmere V-neck sweater that cupped your breasts perfectly and revealed a tasteful peek of creamy cleavage. Black wool A-line skirt with salt and pepper threads two inches above your knee, you had probably shaved your legs two days ago and missed a few hairs on your right calf nine inches above your black Nine West pumps. I was staring at you, hoping to make eye contact but every time you glanced at me you immediately looked away nervously. When the voices in my head told me to stand beside you and smell your hair you pulled the emergency cord, jumped off the train, ran up the street and disappeared into the crowd. Please call I would like to obsess over you some more.

WOMAN SEEKING MAN
Natural earth mother type seeks a real man. Must have ALL his ribs & enjoy gardening nude. Must like reptiles & apples. No daddy’s boys need apply.

WOMAN SEEKING MAN
6 Foot tall, wealthy, athletic blonde (38-26-38) new to area! Likes sports, beer, & television, hotdogs & chips! Seeking short, balding unemployed guy with lazy friend for no strings attached fun. Where are you?!?!

WOMAN SEEKING WOMAN
Professional, 50-something female looking for energetic, life-loving female who likes excellent wine, flyfishing, and limitless conversation wit a slightly deranged winemaker. You can have him.

ARROGANT, SELF-ABSORBED NARCISSIST seeks slutty super-model type with serious low self-esteem issues. If you dot your i’s with a little circles and draw a smiley face after you sign your name, call me. I’m a prick!

PORTLY MIDDLE AGE MALE would like to do nude modeling for a blind female sculptor in her 60’s.

ANARCHIST lots of “tats” and piercings seeks Goth misanthrope. If you are stained and stapled with a lousy attitude lets go out for drinks and piss some people off!